Karen A. Covy received her law degree magna cum laude from the University of Notre Dame Law School. Since opening her own firm in 1995, Karen has focused a substantial part of her practice in the area of family law, handling cases involving divorce, custody, parentage and related issues.

Karen is currently a prac-ticing attorney in Chicago who has helped hundreds of people survive divorce and walk away with grace.

The Hidden Truth About Divorce
    You Can End Your Marriage
        Without Ruining Your Life

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck,
  If you live through it, you start looking very carefully
    to the right and to the left.
         — Jean Kerr, American Author & Playwright

No one walks down the marriage aisle expecting to end up in divorce court. Yet, statistically speaking, at least half of all marriages will end exactly that way. What the statistics don’t tell you is HOW your divorce is going to go. It can be amicable, or it can be ugly. Believe it or not, the choice is mostly yours.

Once you understand the dynamics of divorce, you can begin to control how much you and your spouse fight, how long your divorce takes, and how much it costs. Of course, you can’t completely control every aspect of your divorce. Your spouse, your lawyer and the court system all play a part in the process. But once you understand what divorce is, what it does, and what your role in your divorce should be, you will find that you have the power to transform your divorce from an un-ending nightmare to just an unpleasant life experience.

I’m Karen Covy, and I am a divorce lawyer, mediator, negotiator and author. For more than a decade, I have watched people wade through the divorce system in anger, frustration, fear and despair. It didn’t take me long to figure out that there had to be a better way.

Divorce is difficult. It’s unpleasant. Quite frankly, it stinks. But going through a divorce doesn’t have to ruin your life. Once you understand a few basic principles, you will be able to get through your divorce a whole lot easier. There will also be a lot less conflict than there could be if you choose to go through the whole process just trying to make your spouse suffer. So what do you need to know?

1) Divorce doesn’t end your relationship with your spouse, it only changes it.

Marriage is a legal relationship between two people. While most people believe that divorce ends that relationship, the truth is that, for most people, divorce only changes it. Once you get divorced you will still need to deal with your former spouse if:

• You have children…
• You or your spouse has to pay spousal support for some period of time…or
• You and your spouse still have to sell a home, pay off debts, or separate other assets after you have gotten divorced.

If there are no children from the marriage, you may only need to deal with your spouse for a few months, or a few years. If you do have children, you will likely be dealing with your spouse forever. Either way, once you realize that you are still going to have to deal with your spouse after you are divorced, you will suddenly see that how you treat each other during your divorce matters much more than you ever imagined.

2) Balance matters.

Divorce affects every aspect of your life. If you want to get through it well, you need to address every aspect of your divorce. If you ignore your family and focus only on your finances, in the long run, you will suffer. If you ignore your finances, and focus only on your family, in the long run, you will suffer. When you’re getting divorced, you have to look at it all. You need to keep the “big picture” in mind at all times.

3) You need to understand the Universal Laws of Divorce.

There are three universal laws of divorce:

• Responsibility - You are responsible for your life, your children and your divorce.
• Control - You and only you can control yourself, your life and your actions. Your spouse does not control you, and you cannot control your spouse.
• Karma - In the end, what goes around comes around.

Divorce is never easy, but it doesn’t have to be as hard as many people make it. The secret to getting through your divorce sanely is to focus on what really matters and let go of what doesn’t. Figure out what’s important to you. Fight when you have to. Negotiate when you can.

If these principles make sense to you, if you want to get through your divorce in a civilized way, with your family, your sanity, and your integrity reasonably intact, then the approach to divorce that I advocate can help you. If you prefer to fight to the death, then you need to look at other lawyers, other advice books and other websites. In the end, it’s your choice. And your choice makes all the difference.

To get more advice about how to get divorced without ruining your life, check out When Happily Ever After Ends: How to Survive Your Divorce Emotionally, Financially and Legally at www.amazon.com.

If you live in the Chicago area and need a family law attorney or mediator who can help you get through your divorce sanely, e-mail me at: karen@KarenCovy.com, or call (312) 236-1670 for an appointment.

Thanks for your interest!

When Happily Ever After Ends
By Karen Covy

Karen’s book shows how to choose the right attorney and how to get through a divorce with sanity, integrity and family relatively intact.

Real-life scenarios provide the reader with a unique perspective not found in other books. Because the book also serves as a legal self-help guide, you’ll get everything you need in one title, not two.
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